FUNNY JOKES

A BLONDE & HER THERMOS

A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it’s for. He responds, “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, “What do you have in it?” She […]

THE LAWYER TOO BIG TO BURY

Q: Did you hear about the dead lawyer who was too big to fit in a coffin? A: They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.

A MAN’S LOGIC

A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, “Well I carried this child around […]

DWAYNE KENNEDY: EVERY DAY AS IF IT’S YOUR LAST

They say you gotta live every day as if it’s your last. I don’t recommend that. I tried that one time. It was a Wednesday — I woke up, quit my job, slapped a cop and hit on my girlfriend’s mother. Then, Thursday rolled around. Much to my chagrin, found out they don’t have no […]