FUNNY JOKES

CROSS THE ROAD… FAT TURKEY

Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.

DINOSAUR CROSSING

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A: It was the chicken’s day off.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BULL AND A COW

Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal’s ass. If there’s a place for his tongue, it’s a cow.

BEAR & DEER

Q: What do you get when you cross a bear with a deer? A: Beer.

THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

December 14, 1972 My dearest darling John: Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way. My love always, Agnes December 15, 1972 Dearest John: Today the postman brought […]

ANTS DANCING

Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, “Twist to open.”

CRICKET

Q: If you had one cricket ball in one hand and another cricket ball in your other hand, what would you have? A: A bloody big cricket.

BELLS ON COWS

Q: Why do farmers put bells on cows? A: Their horns don’t work.

COW ABORTION

Q: What do you call a cow who’s had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.

BASKETBALL CHICKEN

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? A: He heard the ref was blowing fowls.