FUNNY JOKES

A LESSON IN MORALS

One day at the end of class, little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. “My dad owns a farm and […]

CROSS THE ROAD… FAT TURKEY

Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.

A MAN’S LOGIC

A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, “Well I carried this child around […]

DWAYNE KENNEDY: EVERY DAY AS IF IT’S YOUR LAST

They say you gotta live every day as if it’s your last. I don’t recommend that. I tried that one time. It was a Wednesday — I woke up, quit my job, slapped a cop and hit on my girlfriend’s mother. Then, Thursday rolled around. Much to my chagrin, found out they don’t have no […]

THANK YOU FOR FLYING WITH US

A 747 was starting its descent and the pilot had forgotten to turn off the P.A. system. ”As soon as I clock off” he said, ”I’m going to have a nice cold beer and then screw the arse off that blonde flight attendant.” The horrified flight attendant made a dash toward the cockpit, but tripped […]